Life as I know it....for now....
i am updating everyone on the current situation in our life.
we are living apart for the next two years. i am going to get a job and apartment soon hopefully...oh yea and a car....=0)
i know we can do this because our situation is not even as stressful as our military families. we will have the freedom to visit each other as our finances will allow. we can talk on the phone or skype when we want. God has given us each other and we are a strong God fearing couple. He will supply all our needs.
what i have already learned through this is as follows...=0)...
people need to be careful about what they say and what their fight is really about. i have had some horrible things said about me by family, past friends and people who only "see"me through brendan. these are things that these people can never unsay. someday my children may stumble upon these horrible words and opinions of me. they may wonder if they even know me. this may cause anger towards their dad for the things he allowed these people to say about me. it may be irreversible damage for both parents and my children in regards to our relationships with them. (when it is truth, that is one thing, but a lie, that is another.)
i have learned that Gods will is what He wants for us but most of us chose OUR will. i believe that the day we meet Jesus face to face we will in fact be shocked and horrified about how important every last decision we made effected others. if we respond selfishly, then we take away from the path that God intended for that person. if we respond godly, we promote God's will in that persons life. we must approach our daily responses with the utmost care and with a god like attitude. as dennis mcmains has said for years..."to be like Christ, that is our goal"
i have also learned that i know so many wonderful people. the encouragement that has been poured out on us has been refreshing and i know has helped us through this tough time. the prayers, phone calls, texts, emails, cards, hugs, that you all have given have not gone unnoticed. we love you all. melissa (sasa to me), mike and alicia gray have blessed us with a safe place to live and cars to drive during this time. you guys are amazing and so selfless. all in all we are truly blessed, and words can not and will not express our gratitude to all of you! HUGS!
i have also learned that i do not need a PH.D to know my children and their desires. i feel i know them quite well and that i have a great relationship with them. i believe they know that they can come to me about anything. i am saddened by the fact that i can not be their voice when they are afraid though. i am not allowed to be their voice any longer without the possibility of grave consequences.
i may add more later but i wanted to communicate with all of you as soon as possible. all in all we are doing ok. this is not where we thought we would be but that is ok.
love to you all,
jess and daniel
4 comments:
Hi Jessica and Daniel,
What you wrote is beautiful. And your attitude is truely of God. So many people talk and claim God,
but don't walk the walk. I am honored to say that my cousin Jessica actually walks the walk.
You are blessed, and so is your family. And you know....."what goes around comes around"
and "vengence is Mine, sayeth the Lord" (It is only God's job to judge, not ours.)
Take care and God Bless,
Love, Robin
Jess you are a strong person. Love you and am praying for you. Thanks for sharing about where you are at and how you are processing things.
love
Amanda
Hi Jessica,
Thank you for sending this update. I am not able to access your blog from work (which is the only internet connection I have currently) so I am glad to hear what's going on with you and Daniel. I have been praying for you, Daniel and Brendan. I don't think of Brendan as my enemy but I do think of him as an enemy to you and Daniel. We are called to pray for our enemies and so I do so for Brendan. I pray that he will soften his heart toward God and you and that he will humbly repent of the sin he has committed and the pain he has brought to you, your children and Daniel. I also pray that you and he will someday be reconciled (not remarried, but that your relationship will be restored to a godly, peaceful state) and that there will be perpetual peace between you your new families. I realize that not getting full custody of Sidney & Grant must have been devastating to you and Daniel, especially because it now means you will be so far apart from each other for an uncertain amount of time. However, I applaud both of you for remaining faithful to God and trusting Him to lead you through this difficult time. I have great respect for both of you focusing on doing what you think is best for your children. This will have an eternally positive impact on them and you will be rewarded for it. My prayers will remain with you. Keep on persevering, for God is your strength. I don't know how I can be of help to you but please know that I am here to help if you need me. Just ask.
God Bless,
Greg Ness
so let me just say that i went to look for your email in your profile and came across your blog. im sitting here humbled and fighting back tears. i think i pretty much pieced it all together: bitter divorce, vicious/vengeful ex, wanting to make a new life, not being able to leave, and not being able to move forward, feeling like the world is all on your shoulders, worrying about providing and loving and just surviving, finding your soulmate and having to live long distance, AND STILL THANKING GOD THRU IT ALL..... it just really humbles me and lets me know that what i saw in you two as people and friends in high school was just the tip of the iceberg and that God loves you two and will have prepared a place in heaven for your family that will not be scarred by the junk of this life....
About the job: Your photos are breathtaking. Did you take them? They are unique and poignant, tasteful and understated but just reach out and grab your attention. I would hang any one of them in my home. Have you thought about taking this to the next step? Just a thought. there are companies that you can sell your images to, you could start a stationery company with postcards etc using your images, i think it could be endless. let me know what you think.
Take care and definitely keep in touch. i earmarked your blog, if that's ok, and will check in often. your family is in my prayers: prayers to bridge the distance, meld your families and soften brendan's heart. bless you and talk soon.
J
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